Reflecting on his wife’s time being cared for in IPU
Where time doesn’t feel rushed
Tony Howes’ story: When Kim fell seriously ill earlier this year, her husband Tony faced the difficult reality of navigating hospital and hospice care. After a period in hospital and another hospice, Kim was admitted to Tapping House earlier this year, where she would spend her final weeks. “I’m glad she was admitted here,” Tony says. “I wouldn’t have wanted her to go anywhere else, I really wouldn’t.”
From the moment she arrived at the hospice, Tony noticed the difference. “The staff welcomed us with open arms – me, Kim, and our family. From the moment you walk in, someone offers a cup of tea or coffee. It’s just so comforting.” My sister-in-law even said, “You can feel the love in this place.” “Everyone cares, from top to bottom.” Tony adds.
Kim had spent months in hospital before coming to Tapping House, enduring procedures she disliked. “She hated hospitals, nurses, needles,” Tony recalls. “But she didn’t moan at all. She just took it in her stride. She was fantastic.”
They couldn’t do enough. I can’t emphasise that enough.
The hospice team went above and beyond to make Kim’s time special. There are so many special moments here. Around Christmas, they organised carol singing concerts and even brought donkeys for patients to meet. Tony adds, “I’ve got a lovely photograph of her feeding the donkey, just amazing…” Kim had a love of Paddington Bear. The nurses one day set up the TV so they could both watch Paddington Bear movies together.
Tony also stayed with Kim overnight. After Christmas, Tony spent seventeen days sleeping in the room with Kim. “The staff made it easy, supportive. They treated us like family. It was fantastic.” Tony goes on to say. “It was the little things, like allowing her brother to visit and also stay over, making the room comfortable, that meant so much. Nothing was a problem…” “When Kim died, because she had two Paddington Bears, we put one in the coffin with her and the other one I gave to her brother.”
It’s like a second home
Knowing Kim could press a button and have a carer by her side within seconds provided enormous reassurance. “She often said the nicest thing was how they treated her dignity with respect,” Tony recalls.
“The minute you walk in, it’s like a second home. That’s what it felt like. I’d eat with her sometimes, help her drink and eat – that was nice. One of the most special times was her last morning. I got the call about three o’clock, and said we’d better come in. A nurse was holding her hand, talking to her when I got here about 20 past, and about twenty to four she passed away. It really got to me. She hung on for us. She’s at peace now. No more pain, no more tablets.”
The ongoing support from Tapping House continued after Kim’s death. Tony received regular calls from staff, checking in and offering guidance and reassurance. The staff all enjoy Tony’s visits to the Hospice since Kim died, as he spoils them by bringing in his infamous homemade shortbread biscuits!
You couldn’t ask for better care
Reflecting on the experience, Tony emphasises the compassionate culture of the hospice. “Whenever I see people, I always mention Tapping House and how good they are. From the cleaning staff to the nurses, everyone cares. They’ve only nine bedrooms, but that’s enough. You can feel the love as soon as you walk through the doors. They do everything in their power to look after you. They are angels.”
For families considering hospice care, Tony has a clear message: “Don’t be afraid. The staff will look after both your loved one and you. You will receive 100% reassurance. They make sure you’re okay, they tell you when to rest, to take a day off. I can’t recommend Tapping House enough. You couldn’t ask for better care.”
Kim’s story illustrates the profound impact a hospice can have on patients and their families – not just through medical support, but through personal touches, kindness, and respect for dignity. Tony’s experience is a testament to Tapping House’s commitment to compassionate, person-centred care.
Consent has been granted by Tony to share his story with you as he wishes to raise awareness of the care his wife received. On behalf of all the team at Tapping House, huge thanks to Tony for sharing your beautiful story. And we can’t wait for more of your delicious homemade shortbread soon!